ETNW 2011 - Opening Ceremony

Welcome to the Eurovision That Never Was 2011!

Those of you who are familiar with the concept of this MB contest might want to skip the next few paragraphs, which are designed to remind newcomers what ETNW is all about. Unless you want to refresh your memories. In which case...

"In short, the contest is about picking a song you think could pass as a past entry in the contest - from any country that has ever taken part, from anywhere between 1956 and 2010. You might have some Portuguese song you've always loved (probably featuring a pine tree or field of corn or some such) which was released back in 1986 which you've always thought should have been the country's entry in 1987; or you know a Lithuanian song which you're convinced the Baltic state would have entered had it been around in 1965.

"The song you pick might seem so utterly Eurovisiony that it jumps out at you immediately, or it might take a while before you come round to it and realise: well yep, actually that would have fitted in really well for that contest and that country that year. Whatever you choose, the idea is to mix things up a bit - the whole point is that it's The Eurovision That Never Was. How you interpret that is up to you. Hopefully it will make for as fun a contest as ever, with a good variety of music."

The general idea with ETNW is to come up with an entry you feel is as authentic as possible for the year and country you allocate it to, and that's also how your voting should work. For example, if you have two songs, one which you like but which doesn't seem all that authentic, and the other which you don't like all that much but which seems completely authentic, the latter should get more points from you than the former. This is what sets ETNW apart from other MB contests. For more information and details about rules and voting, see the other (and older) posts below.

Just to remind you, the submissions period opens next Monday, 1o January, and will last a week. Until then, let's kick off this opening ceremony proper with a recap of last year's winner and some words of wisdom from its sponsor, Arvid...


SISSEL - SE ILDEN LYSE



A deserved inaugural winner :)

And now some tips from the man who won it for Norway...


*****

Are you struggling with finding a song or choosing one out of many, many suggestions? Despair not. Here's what I did last year. It worked then. I plan on doing the same this year, but it is not sure it will work as well. Especially not if you all do it, too.

The order of these suggestions are not to be taken as a strict procedure and it can be done in a different way, and they can be done in a different order. Or you can choose your entry by setting your itunes to "random" and choose whatever comes at #423. Or you can click "next" repeatedly on your itunes as long as you can hold your breath, and then choose whatever is on when the need to exhale becomes unbearable. Or you can just get drunk... maybe I should do that, to try something new? You'll just have to wait and see.

1. Find a song

If there's a song you've always thought of as a perfect Eurovision song, and you have been lying awake at night, twisting in despair because it was never submitted to the ESC, then that is a worthy candidate. That's what I did last year. The despair is still killing me. I'm noticing I'm using the word "despair" a lot now. Maybe it's because I promised phutty these tips two days ago. I digress.

So if there's a song you've just randomly thought "this would be good for the ESC" while hearing something on the radio, that might work, too. Or even something you've thought of as "too good for the ESC". Basically anything that screams "ESC" without being Eurovision-connected, or you could easily imagine on an ESC stage. Preferrably something with a strong chorus, short verses. Key changes, ethno-pop and screamy ladies should also be appreciated.

2. Find a country and year

When you've chosen a song, placing it can be quite a challenge. The point is not to find something identical to a certain country's entry in a given year, but more something that "feels" like a certain country's output at a certain time. This is what people are going to think about when voting. No-one is going to re-acquaint themselves with all of Portugal's back catalogue to see if you have mis-placed an entry or to give you the benefit of the doubt to see if it *might* fit.

My advice here is not to over-think it. A slightly ethnic ballad in Norwegian that was released in the mid-nineties goes as a Norwegian entry in the mid-nineties, for instance. Submitting a heavy rock song might work better for the Czech republic in the late nillies. You catch my drift. And for it to feel realistic, it is a good idea to take into account both the free language rule, when it was in effect and when it wasn't, as well as what countries participated (and existed) when. The rules are quite liberal here, but if you want to win it's a good idea to think about all of these things, because some voters might punish you if you don't (Hello Frank! :).

3. Have fun

If you haven't had fun picking your entry, I think you are something of a bore. Or it is likely you have been over-thinking.

Conclusion

To sum up: 1. Find a song. 2. Find a country and year. 3. Have fun. Otherwise: Over-thinking is bad, fun is fun and Eurovision is fun, too. And beer made these tips better.

Arvid - putting the "tips" in "tipsy".

*****

Some sage advice there - 'have fun' being the most important point! So get your thinking caps on if you still haven't, and remember that submissions open on Monday. Which is when I'll let you know what the new email address is... ;-)