1/24/2016

The Final

Welcome to the final of The Eurovision That Never Was 2016!


Thanks to everyone who’s taking part! Get listening, and be sure to read the information about voting and the bios before you vote.

Here are this year’s entries…

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01 France 1977 – À toi (Joe Dassin)
02 Turkey 1997 – Araba (Mustafa Sandal)
03 Iceland 1995 –
Rangur maður (Sólstrandargæjarnir)
04 The Netherlands 2015 – Something Beautiful (Sharon Doorson)
05 Cyprus 1999 – Tora mou milaei (Stella Georgiadou)
06 Germany 2008 – Layla (Milk and Honey)
07 France 1968 – Je n’aurai pas le temps (Michel Fugain)
08 Belgium 2006 – Jaleo (Get Ready!)
09 Turkey 2013 – Bring Me Back (Atiye)
10
Monaco 1973 – L’amour est toujours en vacances (Patricia Lavila)

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…thanks to random.org! And here's the link to download them...

Hopefully that should work!

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Voting

1. You must vote. If you don't, you’ll be disqualified – and given the numbers, we don’t want that :P You'll also be disqualified if you let anyone know what your entry is prior to the sponsor revelations.

2. Voting is also open to non-participants.

3. Voting is Melodifestivalen style: 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 and 12 points. You can't vote for your own entry.

4. The email address for your votes is the same as per submissions:
etnw2016@gmail.com. Please make your email subject line “Name’s votes”. Using your name, obviously ;)

5. The deadline for voting is next 
Sunday 31 January.

6. Remember that you’re not simply voting for your favourites: you should reward good matches. (Go back and read the earlier posts if you’re still not sure how to go about it.) Of course, if you think all the entries are perfectly authentic, you can rank them according to taste.

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Bios

01 France 1977 – À toi
Born in the USA but based throughout his musical career in France, Joe Dessin not only sang himself but also wrote songs for the likes of France Gall. And for himself: this one has everything a French entry of the ’70s should have, and would have made a great, nay classic French winner.

02 Turkey 1997 – Araba
Mustafa Sandal competed as a composer in the Turkish NF in 1995 and came dead last, but he shouldn’t have given up on ESC that easily – in 1996 he released the album from which this song is taken. It would have fitted well with the modern pop approach Turkey was flirting with in Eurovision in 1997.

03 Iceland 1995 – Rangur maður
In 1995 RÚV decided to ask Björgvin Halldórsson to write and perform a song. However, when he brought forward Núna as his entry, Heimir Steinsson, chief of RÚV, rolled his eyes and said: “Not another sleeping pill! Dear God, let’s just have a national final even though we can’t afford it; we’ll just serve fermented shark for dinner for the rest of the year!” So RÚV rejected the horridness from Bo Hall and launched preparations for a national final with the slogan: “LET’S HAVE FUN!”

In the east, a young high schooler woke up completely hungover from a Wednesday bender and turned on the radio. Through the splintering headache he heard the ad at the same time as he eyed the song he'd written the night before after swallowing a bottle of black death, lamenting the fact that he’d never be as fabulous as Sigga in Stjórnin. Which was the aftermath of failing both math and English as well and having his ass handed to him for sloppy attendance. 

In the end he made it to the final with his song and the whole nation, still bitter over Þá veistu svarið’s results and longing for the glory days of Stjórnin, drank a bottle of black death and demanded that Rangur maður compete on behalf of Iceland. Heimir Steinsson, while muttering to himself: “Fucking Bo!”, relented and picked Rangur maður with Sólstrandargæjarnir as Iceland's ESC song for 1995.

The rest is history.

04 The Netherlands 2015 – Something Beautiful
The Dutch have managed to get a lot of famous female singers to represent them in recent years. Sharon Doorson is quite well-known in the Netherlands and is frequently rumoured as a potential entrant, having said she would consider it if asked. She has recently changed her music style from dance to more pop/R&B.

05 Cyprus 1999 – Tora mou milaei
Stella was rumoured to represent Cyprus almost every year in the late ’90s and early ’00s. This entry represents CyBC’s more uptempo approach a la 1997 and 1999. It also contains ethnic elements, like many Cypriot entries of the time; is in Greek, since CyBC didn’t allow songs in any other language; and has great fanwank potential, like every other entry from the country at the time.

06 Germany 2008 – Layla
2008 was a low point for Germany in ESC. This too probably would have been a horror live, sadly, though it fits with the mid-’00s ethno trend, if missing the boat slightly (see also: NL 08), and clocks in at a wee caterpillar’s whisker over the three-minute line. The band name sounds like it was chosen specifically for Eurovision given its record of success.

07 France 1968 – Je n’aurai pas le temps
Composer and singer Michel Fugain won the ‘Palmares des Chansons’ variety show with this song, which went on to be a hit in the French charts and in English versions recorded by John Rowles and Gene Pitney. Fugain's talents would have made him an excellent choice to represent France a few months after this song won the hearts of French TV viewers.

08 Belgium 2006 – Jaleo
Eurovision went to the Mediterranean in 2006, so Belgium needed a summery song – not something Swedish. The boyband Get Ready! had been massively popular in the early ’00s and returned that year with a pop track which had ESC written all over it really.

09 Turkey 2013 – Bring Me Back
Set to be released in the first half of 2012, this song came to the attention of the Eurovision delegation from TRT just too late for their internal selection for Baku, but just in time for them to make an offer to Germany-based singer Atiye to keep a lid on it for another six months until it could be officially unveiled as the Turkish entry for ESC13 in Malmö.

10 Monaco 1973 – L’amour est toujours en vacances
Monaco were far more inclined to enter happy up-tempo numbers than their neighbours during this era, and tended to poach French singers (this one being married to Luxembourg 70 and a later participant in the French NF herself). This song would have looked and sounded fab in the campfest that was Eurovision 73!

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Good luck to all the sponsors! Small though the field is, I hope you enjoy this year’s contest.

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